i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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