lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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