I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize