Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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