im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
