there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
