One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
