I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
