What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
