when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
