It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
