Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He has the fingertips of a God
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