Do you still have your period?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
