This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
