fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
