dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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