O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
