we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
