I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
