it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
