we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
