I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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