I hope mine doesn't look like that
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize