Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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