I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
