i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
