What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
