i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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