I wannas sexs uuuuu
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
