Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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