Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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