***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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