Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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