I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
