i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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