i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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