i just had sex bonerless
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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