I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Drake has all the answers
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
