I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
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For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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