I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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