Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
false alarm. still invincible.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
