This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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