Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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