Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
being pregnant is like rehab
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
