Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
then he tried to convert me to islam
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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