I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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