woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
