Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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