Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
