I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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