I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
