my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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