I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
