did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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