guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
