He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
