They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
