i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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