i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
