talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
