I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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