i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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