I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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