i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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