Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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