the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Two words: blizzard sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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