dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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